Are you tired of saying yes when every part of you is screaming no?

In this week's episode of A Millennial Mind, I sit down with Annalie Howling — performance coach, trauma specialist, and boundaries queen — to unpack the truth about people pleasing, approval addiction, and why so many of us feel guilty putting ourselves first.

We dive deep into the psychology behind saying yes, how it’s linked to childhood conditioning, and what it actually takes to stop caring what everyone thinks. If you’ve ever been called “too nice,” struggled to set boundaries, or felt drained trying to please everyone — this one’s for you.

✨ Who It’s For:
Chronic people pleasers who can’t say no
Anyone struggling with guilt, shame, or overgiving
Women tired of being the “good girl”
Anyone learning to protect their peace & energy

💡 What You’ll Learn:
Why people pleasing starts — and how to break the pattern
How to set boundaries without guilt or fear
The link between self-worth and saying no
Practical tools to stop overgiving & reclaim your energy

If you’ve ever thought, “I’ll just do it to keep the peace,” this is the episode for you. It’s time to stop being 'liked' - and start being respected.


00:00 Introduction – Why We People Please
01:05 Meet Annalie Howling: Turning Pain into Purpose
04:20 The Truth About People Pleasing and Self-Abandonment
08:30 When Helping Others Becomes Self-Harm
12:45 The Guilt of Saying No
15:20 The Connection Between Guilt, Shame, and Self-Worth
18:40 Trauma, Control, and Learned Helplessness
23:10 Why Some People Resist Healing
26:00 Narcissism, Victimhood, and Emotional Boundaries
31:10 How to Set Boundaries Without Feeling Selfish
35:45 Understanding Shame in People Pleasing
40:15 Fawning: The Hidden Trauma Response
45:30 Healing from Childhood Shame and Conditioning
49:50 Recognizing and Validating Your Own Trauma
54:10 Breaking Generational Patterns of Guilt
58:30 Setting Boundaries with Family and In-Laws
01:02:10 Why “Good Girls” Struggle to Say No
01:05:00 Speaking Up When It Feels Uncomfortable
01:09:30 Letting Go of the Need to Please
01:12:00 Final Reflections – Living Unapologetically

🔔 Subscribe for more discussions on mental health, personal growth, and healing! / @shivanipaupodcast

✨ Connect with Millennial Mind ✨

Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amillennialmind
Shivani Pau Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shivani.pau
Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/shivanipaupodcast
Performance Planner: https://my-performance-planner.myshopify.com/

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